She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
