At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
4 words: hood of his car
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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