and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
