'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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