She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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