just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
not ubering you a puppy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
