GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
