I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize