Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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