This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
