all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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