We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
