I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
