So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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