Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
two words...techno handjob
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
