I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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