It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
