Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
