He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm just crazy horny about you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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