She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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