it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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