i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
