I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
