It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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