Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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