Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i dont even know how to be here
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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