you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize