is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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