Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
