thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
