Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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