I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There are leaves in my underwear?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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