my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
