hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
