garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
