I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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