I'm really into asian looking animals
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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