dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize