that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
