dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
