brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Where is the hickey?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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