Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
