you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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