i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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