you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
