Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize