We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
