okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
