oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the day after is always just damage control
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
