i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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