dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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