I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize
