i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
