Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
nutella sex= disaster
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
