What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
